Love this beautiful smile!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Time to play catch up!

Give me a few days (or quite possibly the rest of the week) to catch up on my blog!!! Our life has been INSANE!!!

Here's a quick summary:
-We bought a house. We renovated our house. We are never buying another fixer upper again. We LOVE our house!

- We had another baby! Payton was born in July, two and half weeks early. I will post details in my blog post.

-My mom had major surgery. Derek had surgery after that. I played their nurse!

-We painted our house. Again, we're never buying another fixer upper (but I'm repeating myself).

-Lilli has been in dance and loves it!

That's about it, but these events have been so time consuming! First things first, Payton!

Friday, May 2, 2014

LOL

Let me just say that I do realize that I grew up in this whole acronym generation where they abbreviate everything.

I understand it, or rather, I understood it.... WHEN WE HAD TO WRITE NOTES!!!!

So here's my thing with LOL... laughing out loud... it's not an open invitation to just add it to the end of every conversation. So, for example, when I get this text: "Yeah, we had to have the carpet cleaned because of it. lol", I get super annoyed. How is that funny?? How are you LAUGHING OUT LOUD about it? Or this, "Yeah, I can. lol"...... Oh my freaking gosh!!! Just tell me yes or no, it did not require an lol!!! I know you're not laughing about it! Ughhh...

I may be a borderline freak about that stupid acronym. For the most part, people my age don't use them anymore because we're not 17 and juvenile. But for those that do, PLEASE STOP. It's extremely annoying. Not everything requires lol. Not everything is a laughing matter.

STOP WITH THE LOL!!!!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Today I am NOT a Good Mom

How does a mother absolutely hate being a mother? Well, today I am understanding of it I suppose.

My daughter made me cry. No, not cry, bawl. I bawled like a baby.

How? Pretty simple. She is a toddler and she is pushing buttons. She was in the bath and I asked her to quit squealing because her uncle is sleeping. So she proceeded to squeal louder.

Now, when it comes to spanking I am not against it. But I don't think it's fair to just hit whenever she's bad. I also feel like spanking has happened a lot more since her dad got home because she has been REALLY bad. We're talking 3 going on 13 bad. This makes me feel super guilty because I know she has a lot of changes going on in her little life. Some of these emotions she's expressing are only natural to what she's going through. So in a sense, it's unfair, but it's also justified because she'll be with us and not her grandparents. Maybe it's not justified... I don't know.

So rather than feel guilty, after she didn't listen to me for the 5th or 6th time, I broke down crying and walked away. I didn't want to spank her. She is just a kid. However, I am at my breaking point. How and what do I do to make her respect me?

I hate that lovey dovey, stuff.... "honey, that hurt mom's feelings because...." and then you proceed to explain why you're upset. She doesn't listen to that. She mocks me when I "explain" why things hurt my feelings. And she only does the bad deed eight more times because she KNOWS it pisses me off. I really try not to react to her, but being pregnant, emotional, tired and at the moment, sick, I am just unable to not have some sort of emotion. I have tried my damnedest to be a patient mother, but lately I can't be.

So today I hate being a mother. Today I wish I could run away and not come back. Today I wish I wasn't bringing another baby into this world that I could potentially be frustrated with.

Tomorrow will be a different day. Tomorrow will be a different story. Tomorrow will be another change. I will love my family and be a better mother and do better by all of them.

But for today, I am not a good mom.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Probably going off the radar for a couple of months...

So, my life is chaos at the moment and to be frank, I'm in a really bad mood about it. We are buying a house and apparently, this house might as well not be mine because everybody else has taken over the renovation of it. I will get back on here once I get my chance to get settled into the house and make it the way I want. I may post pictures on Friday of the baby because we find out what it is! But other than that, I'm disappearing for a while because I have too much stress in my life.

Friday, January 31, 2014

New Year's Card Pictures

Our Christmas/New Years card was actually kind of thrown together. I wanted to get family pictures done, but our break went by so fast and I was sick for a week of it. Blah! So family pictures didn't happy.... But I threw it together anyway! Here's the pictures I chose for it!

Announcing our duo coming soon!
My lovely girl 
Our little peanut
My little love enjoying the cold day! Such a beautiful smile! 

Snowy days!

There has been so much snow this winter! My goodness! I am loving it, no doubt about it, but this beautiful white snow has made my stay here so much fun!

Post Christmas snow
 Tuesday's Snow
 Today's snow


I'm pretty sure this is the first time there's been this much in snow in 5 years. And it's so exciting! This state needs moisture so badly. Thank God for this much needed snow :)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Life is too short...

Today is a very, very sad day.

My in laws are putting down their dog today after her fight with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). It's very debilitating in dogs and she's at the point where she can't even get up the stairs anymore. While we've known this was coming, it is still very sad to see. She is going to be missed!

Another reason today is so sad is because I found out that very wonderful friend of mine passed away. While he wasn't a best friend or something I kept in contact with daily, he was someone I would catch up with every once in a while and seriously one of the nicest people I knew.

Ryan was always such a happy person. I have known him the better part of two decades. We went to French, Sproul and Widefield together and I'm sure, once I get a house and can, he's signed every yearbook I own. When all the jerks at school were mean to me, he said hi. When I would go through a break up, he'd check to see if I was okay. I know he was this way with everybody, but he was truly such a wonderful person!! I know that although he is gone now, he will never be forgotten.

Rest well Ryan. My heart is so deeply saddened by your passing. You will be so very missed! Sending my love!