Our Family

Our Family

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Payton Rose Pollock

Oh what do I say about my beautiful little girl??

Let's start with her birthday.

In late June just before my birthday, I went to the doctor and she checked me to see if I was dilating since I had Lilli early. I was 50% effaced and 3/4 cm dilated. I wasn't surprised because she felt like she was low. She sat that way for 2 1/2 WEEKS! I was convinced she was never going to come.

There was a lot of animosity in my mind about giving birth again. Lilli's birth was horrific and completely traumatizing to me. So I contacted a birth blog (whom I work for now) and asked them if I could write my story out to get it off my chest. They agreed and I got to writing.

As soon as I submitted my story to them, I finally felt at peace with giving birth!

The next day, I had my sister over to hang out with Lilli and to have dinner with us. We just sat around, watched some TV, colored with Lilli and then we had spaghetti for dinner. Nothing felt out of the ordinary, I was convinced Payton was just going to stay put and Derek had given up hope that he would get time off of work. Little did we know that things would be TOTALLY different within 24 hours!

At 2:30 in the morning on the 16th, I woke up to a contraction that had my stomach totally distorted. I thought it was just a strong Braxton Hicks contraction because I hadn't kept up on my water as much as I should have and I had been having stronger ones in the last month of so of pregnancy so it didn't bother me. As soon as I rolled back over to go back to sleep, I felt my water break. I rushed to the bathroom in case I was wrong (knowing I wasn't) and sure as shootin', baby Payton was ready!

Initially, nothing happened. I didn't have any contractions, I didn't feel anything.... it was totally different than Lilli. So I called my mom and my doula and had them on stand-by while I showered. As soon as I got out of the shower.... boom.... labor! Everything happened fast, so I'll just share what I remember.

We dropped Lilli off to my dad and my mom followed us to the hospital. My contractions went from zero to sixty like they did the first time and by the time we got to the hospital, they were taking serious focus to get through them. When we got us to triage, they checked me and I was 6cm, but progressing fast.

Once I got into the room, everything was a blur. I remember the contractions getting to the point of unbearable pretty much as soon as we got in there. I felt very uncomfortable and very much like I needed to get her out. I didn't labor long.

At close to 4:30, I remembered telling Derek (or rather grabbing him and pleading with him) that I couldn't do this labor anymore. I was begging for drugs because I seriously felt like my body was going to rip in half if I didn't! Pretty much immediately after I said that, I felt her head hit my pelvis and she was coming. I pushed maybe four or five times and she came into this world at 4:54 that morning.

After so much wonderful and much needed bonding, I got my beautiful baby to latch for the first time. She ate like a champ! I let her go to the nurse to be weighed about an hour and a half after she was born (amazing considering Lilli was snatched from me almost immediately) and she weighed 7lbs 5oz and she was 20in long. She cooked 5 days longer than her sister and weighed 5oz more than her. It amazed me how much alike they already were! She was perfectly healthy and such a sweet baby! I loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her.

The pictures uploaded backwards.... ugh. The pro pics my 
friend took are at the bottom!

My sweet little baby! Just perfect!

7lbs 5oz (the .1 accounted for the blanket)

Doing footprints! 

Daddy and Payton

Ganna and daddy

Grandma and daddy

My mom & Payton

Derek's mom & Payton

Derek was tired and in a happy daddy haze!

Dealing with a hard, fast labor


The desperation hug! 

Admiring our work 

Snuggling my sweet baby

Monday, November 24, 2014

Time to play catch up!

Give me a few days (or quite possibly the rest of the week) to catch up on my blog!!! Our life has been INSANE!!!

Here's a quick summary:
-We bought a house. We renovated our house. We are never buying another fixer upper again. We LOVE our house!

- We had another baby! Payton was born in July, two and half weeks early. I will post details in my blog post.

-My mom had major surgery. Derek had surgery after that. I played their nurse!

-We painted our house. Again, we're never buying another fixer upper (but I'm repeating myself).

-Lilli has been in dance and loves it!

That's about it, but these events have been so time consuming! First things first, Payton!

Friday, May 2, 2014

LOL

Let me just say that I do realize that I grew up in this whole acronym generation where they abbreviate everything.

I understand it, or rather, I understood it.... WHEN WE HAD TO WRITE NOTES!!!!

So here's my thing with LOL... laughing out loud... it's not an open invitation to just add it to the end of every conversation. So, for example, when I get this text: "Yeah, we had to have the carpet cleaned because of it. lol", I get super annoyed. How is that funny?? How are you LAUGHING OUT LOUD about it? Or this, "Yeah, I can. lol"...... Oh my freaking gosh!!! Just tell me yes or no, it did not require an lol!!! I know you're not laughing about it! Ughhh...

I may be a borderline freak about that stupid acronym. For the most part, people my age don't use them anymore because we're not 17 and juvenile. But for those that do, PLEASE STOP. It's extremely annoying. Not everything requires lol. Not everything is a laughing matter.

STOP WITH THE LOL!!!!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Today I am NOT a Good Mom

How does a mother absolutely hate being a mother? Well, today I am understanding of it I suppose.

My daughter made me cry. No, not cry, bawl. I bawled like a baby.

How? Pretty simple. She is a toddler and she is pushing buttons. She was in the bath and I asked her to quit squealing because her uncle is sleeping. So she proceeded to squeal louder.

Now, when it comes to spanking I am not against it. But I don't think it's fair to just hit whenever she's bad. I also feel like spanking has happened a lot more since her dad got home because she has been REALLY bad. We're talking 3 going on 13 bad. This makes me feel super guilty because I know she has a lot of changes going on in her little life. Some of these emotions she's expressing are only natural to what she's going through. So in a sense, it's unfair, but it's also justified because she'll be with us and not her grandparents. Maybe it's not justified... I don't know.

So rather than feel guilty, after she didn't listen to me for the 5th or 6th time, I broke down crying and walked away. I didn't want to spank her. She is just a kid. However, I am at my breaking point. How and what do I do to make her respect me?

I hate that lovey dovey, stuff.... "honey, that hurt mom's feelings because...." and then you proceed to explain why you're upset. She doesn't listen to that. She mocks me when I "explain" why things hurt my feelings. And she only does the bad deed eight more times because she KNOWS it pisses me off. I really try not to react to her, but being pregnant, emotional, tired and at the moment, sick, I am just unable to not have some sort of emotion. I have tried my damnedest to be a patient mother, but lately I can't be.

So today I hate being a mother. Today I wish I could run away and not come back. Today I wish I wasn't bringing another baby into this world that I could potentially be frustrated with.

Tomorrow will be a different day. Tomorrow will be a different story. Tomorrow will be another change. I will love my family and be a better mother and do better by all of them.

But for today, I am not a good mom.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Probably going off the radar for a couple of months...

So, my life is chaos at the moment and to be frank, I'm in a really bad mood about it. We are buying a house and apparently, this house might as well not be mine because everybody else has taken over the renovation of it. I will get back on here once I get my chance to get settled into the house and make it the way I want. I may post pictures on Friday of the baby because we find out what it is! But other than that, I'm disappearing for a while because I have too much stress in my life.

Friday, January 31, 2014

New Year's Card Pictures

Our Christmas/New Years card was actually kind of thrown together. I wanted to get family pictures done, but our break went by so fast and I was sick for a week of it. Blah! So family pictures didn't happy.... But I threw it together anyway! Here's the pictures I chose for it!

Announcing our duo coming soon!
My lovely girl 
Our little peanut
My little love enjoying the cold day! Such a beautiful smile! 

Snowy days!

There has been so much snow this winter! My goodness! I am loving it, no doubt about it, but this beautiful white snow has made my stay here so much fun!

Post Christmas snow
 Tuesday's Snow
 Today's snow


I'm pretty sure this is the first time there's been this much in snow in 5 years. And it's so exciting! This state needs moisture so badly. Thank God for this much needed snow :)